Post 4: Goals for 2013!

Hello void!

So here they are, my 

Goals for 2013!

They're ambitious, yes, but if I can accomplish all this, I will have so much fun!  This will be the best year, and we will be so happy!  I think by doing these things, I really can improve my life, give myself more clarity, energy, and fun.  I threw in the laundry item because I realized today I haven't done laundry in 3 weeks.  I hate laundry.  It has to be my least favorite chore.  But with a good plan, it doesn't have to get out of hand, and that's the idea!  I may edit these later, but I thought this was a good start.  Now, I just have to figure out a way to implement them.  Hurray!

Short Term Goals

Feed the Engines

• ·      Read one book a week
• ·      Listen to one new album per week
• ·      Listen to MPR every day
• ·      Listen to podcast every day
• ·      Write creatively 5 days per week
• ·      Write for blog 4 days per week
• ·      Go to community events (book club, poetry reading, parade) 1-2 times per month

Health

• ·      4x10 pushups per day
• ·      Physical activity every day (cycle, hula hoop, walk, run)
• ·      Use Clean Eating cookbook once+ per week
• ·      Wash face before bed
• ·      Floss

Order

• ·      Do laundry every week
• ·      Don’t leave dishes in the sink
• ·      Simplify possessions

           (I realize I may be behind the trend a little bit, but have you all seen this?  http://theproject333.com/getting-started/  It's a project where you wear only 33 items of clothing for 3 months.  It's a lesson in simplicity, and apparently people come away satisfied with less.  It sounds like a great idea, though it may be a tad ambitious for me.  Part of this project I'm working on is because lately I have been focusing on external wants rather than growing myself, and this would put a cap on my desire for stuff.  I may try it, but would have to ease into it.  I love the idea though.)

      Future

• ·      Apply for 5 jobs per week until a good one is found
• ·      Build a portfolio
• ·      Ace classes

Relationships

• ·      Remember birthdays, send cards
• ·      Plan celebrations
• ·      Talk to M/D 2-3 times per week
• ·      Talk to Steph once+ per week
• ·      Talk to out of town friend once per week
• ·      Have adventures with Sam twice per month
• ·      Visit friends out of town every 2 months

Year-long goals

• ·      Find a good job
• ·      Join a writing group
• ·      Join a reading group
• ·      Build a portfolio
• ·      Become a jogger
• ·      Simplify possessions
• ·      Learn guitar
• ·      Read 60 books
• ·      Improve relationships
• ·      Write a novel
• ·      Start a blog

      And one more thing.  In the spirit of letting good things into our lives, here's a poem.

THE WASPS 

      David Constantine

The apples on the tree are full of wasps.
Red apples, racing like hearts. The summer pushes
Her tongue into the winter's throat.

But at six today, like rain, the first drops,
The wasps came battering softly at the black glass.
They want the light, the cold is at their backs.

That morning last year when the lamp had been left
    on
The strange room terrified the heart in me,
I could not place myself, didn't know my own

Insect scribble: then saw the whole soft
Pelt of wasps, its underbelly, the long black pane
Yellow with visitants, it seethed, the glass sounded.

I bless my life: that so much wants in. 

               http://www.pnreview.co.uk/cgi-bin/scribe?item_id=3739

Post 3: Holidays

Hello void,

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want in life lately (which of course, is the purpose of this blog and the sand in my oyster).  The last few days particularly I’ve been thinking about the holidays, past and future.  This is our first Christmas as a married couple, in our own apartment.  We have a tree, and a brand new Sufjan Stevens Christmas album; at work I’ve been listening to Christmas music since the day after Halloween; and yet this year I’m just not feeling the “Christmas Spirit.” It’s about the passage of time; no other date combines such identical elements every year; next to the tree, the music, the gifts, the tiny nativity set, it’s easy to see the changes in your own face and in your family.

One thing that I’ve recently discovered is that I really care about holiday traditions.  Not just Christmas, I mean ALL holidays; New Years, Easter, Halloween. I crave that childish fun, I want to light fireworks and hide candy and dress up.  In the fall, I want to go to corn mazes and apple orchards, and carve pumpkins, and I’m disappointed each year when I fail to make these things a priority. 

So we live and we learn.  This year, to bring more fun to my life, I’m going to be the planner.  In the past, I’ve always just tagged along, because I haven’t known where to begin with such things, partially because I’ve had no experience to draw on, which of course just extends the cycle.  Other people may not take these things as seriously as I do (a friend recently told me I was the most nostalgic person she knew, if that’s any indication of what we’re dealing with.) so instead of thinking “that would be fun”, I’m going to try thinking “that Will be fun, and when’s my next day off?”

I’m a sentimental person; it’s not a crime, so let’s watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” on repeat and make some cookies.  Also, this.

And to leave you, here’s a poem. 

Poppies in October

Sylvia Plath

Even the sun-clouds this morning cannot manage such skirts.

Nor the woman in the ambulance

Whose red heart blooms through her coat so astoundingly ----

A gift, a love gift

Utterly unasked for

By a sky

Palely and flamily

Igniting its carbon monoxides, by eyes

Dulled to a halt under bowlers.

O my God, what am I

That these late mouths should cry open

In a forest of frost, in a dawn of cornflowers.

http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/sylviaplath/1422

Post 2: Life Goals

Hello vacuum of space!

So, today is day 2 of my new blog, and I wanted to begin expanding on some of the things I want to accomplish in this coming year, and why. 

I have three main goals, though they are very closely related.  Ultimately, I want a life that is fulfilling, and I believe these will help push me toward that.

Life Goal Number One: Feed the engines. 

I have also listed this as one of my commandments.  This is of the Utmost Importance; it’s worth repeating! By this I mean, take in the raw material that I need to start my brain up again, and keep the fires burning.  So, no more Netflix, no more killing time walking through the mall.  From now on, I go back to the source.   I have a few ideas on this (like I said in my last post, I have been thinking about this renaissance for about a year.  Yes, I have ideas.)  I will read books, fiction, non-fiction, and poetry.  I will listen to podcasts and radio programs on a variety of subjects: economics, history, This American Life, others (please, offer recommendations!).  I will listen to music that is new to me.  I will go for walks, and aim toward a healthier lifestyle.  I may (I hope) go back to school, and I will take online courses.  (For example, I just saw this yesterday, https://www.coursera.org but this link offers free online classes from a whole bunch of universities.  You don’t get credit for them, and you don’t pay for them, but it’s nice to think in this critical way again.  It’s also a good way to learn a new subject risk-free.) I will (eventually) explore local events (poetry readings, book clubs, shows, parades, festivals, etc.) I will try new things, learn new skills and relearn old ones.  I will get my brain back to its peak working condition.

Life Goal Number Two: Become a writer.

I want to create.  Ultimately, this is the goal.  This is a very high-falutin goal, I understand.  I don’t talk about it much (except to Sam, because he took a vow and is required to listen to me), because until I actually accomplish something, it sounds fairly pretentious.  I have been in a slump for a long time, but even though I have thought about other careers and tried to imagine myself in one, it never seems quite right, like I am deliberately closing the door on the right thing.  It’s a sad feeling and is to be avoided.

Ultimately though, writing takes time, and real concentration, and fresh ideas.  I need to cultivate these qualities in myself again.

I want to use my brain. I want to do work that I love and feel passionately about, and fascinated by, so that it is not a job I leave at five o’clock, but a continuous act of creation.  I want a “Life’s work”, not something I grit my teeth through for forty hours a week. 

So, Life Goal Number Three: Find a job that can put me on the path toward happiness.  Learn everything I can.  Become indispensible. 

I like people (mostly), I am fairly intelligent and a quick learner, and I am very willing to work for what I want.  Some lucky employer in the Twin Cities area is eventually going to recognize my value.  Of course.  It will be great.  And we’ll be so happy together on that day.

So, to leave you, I want to offer you all one of my favorite poems.  It’s been in my wallet for five years, as a reminder. It’s worth reading, I promise.

The Layers

BY STANLEY KUNITZ

I have walked through many lives,

some of them my own,

and I am not who I was,

though some principle of being

abides, from which I struggle

not to stray.

When I look behind,

as I am compelled to look

before I can gather strength

to proceed on my journey,

I see the milestones dwindling

toward the horizon

and the slow fires trailing

from the abandoned camp-sites,

over which scavenger angels

wheel on heavy wings.

Oh, I have made myself a tribe

out of my true affections,

and my tribe is scattered!

How shall the heart be reconciled

to its feast of losses?

In a rising wind

the manic dust of my friends,

those who fell along the way,

bitterly stings my face,

Yet I turn, I turn,

exulting somewhat,

with my will intact to go

wherever I need to go,

and every stone on the road

precious to me.

In my darkest night,

when the moon was covered

and I roamed through wreckage,

a nimbus-clouded voice

directed me:

“Live in the layers,

not on the litter.”

Though I lack the art

to decipher it,

no doubt the next chapter

in my book of transformations

is already written.

I am not done with my changes.

(also available here: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/242450)

Pilot Post: Personal Commandments

Hello World!  Today is the first day of my blog.  It’s a brand new enterprise, and something I've never tried before.

My goal is to use this blog as a means to change my life.  I am young, but already I can see my life slipping down a really depressing path, of jobs that bore and depress me, futile pursuit of Things, too much TV, and too little passion.  I want fun!  I want joy and creativity and discussion and poetry!  I want endless walks and color and a peaceful mind and a constant simmer of thought.  I don’t want to waste my life waiting for the weekend.  I have a lot of things I want to do, and I don’t want to lose any more years. 

There are many things that I want to accomplish in the coming year.  I want to turn my whole life around!  The timeframe is short, yes, but I don’t want to wait.  To begin giving this project some structure, I will be referencing Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project (I actually had an idea of this type of goal before reading her book, but finding it was so lucky.  She has some great ideas for organizing goals so that you can realistically follow through on them.  Always a plus!)

So, to begin, I am going to lay down my commandments:

1.     Remember, and be Kimmer

2.     Be kind; it costs nothing

3.     Just start

4.     Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good

5.     Go outside

6.     Put it on hold

7.     Feed the engines

8.     Don’t panic; there’s time

Right now, I can only think of those eight.  Maybe I’ll add more later, but this is a good start.

Before I go, let me leave you with the last stanza of one of my favorite poems.  It’s what gave me the idea for the blog name, and the line always comes back to me. 

“This is where I want to live,

close to where the heart gives out,

ruined, perfected, an empty arch against the sky

where birds fly through instead of prayers

while in Hoy Sound the ferry's engines thrum

this life this life this life.”

--"Orkney/This Life" by Andrew Greig

(Find the full version below)

http://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poetry/poems/orkney-life

This is my beginning.  Wish me luck!